Now THAT is ART, BABY.

Gooooood evenin’, my fearless fans! And what’re we up to this evenin’? Ridin’ our manly scooters around town? Havin’ enchiladas by th’ fire? Spendin’ some “quality time” with a hot-as-chili-peppers blonde babe in spurs? (If ya knowwhatimean?)

No? Well TOO BAD FER YOU. But cheer up! Even if yer evenin’s more borin’ than Tasky after he watches hours’a Ben Stein, Deadpool’s here ta rescue ya from complete misery! How? WELL I’LL TELL YA HOW!

By bringin’ ya th’ second installment’a comics from that dynamically dysfunctional duo, foresthouse an’ Marc Vuletich! Remember how a bunch’a you raised yer hands fer another comic last time? Well it worked! Do it again, an’ ya might even get a third one. WHO CAN SAY?

And even more excitin’: this time, th’ comic was featured, along with foresthouse‘s article Why Ryan Reynolds Must Play Deadpool: A Fan’s Perspective, on th’ ReelzChannel movie news website! Go foresthouse! *highfive*

So head on over an’ read that, ya feebs, an’ check out th’ comic there too, or, if ya want to, read it right here:

The Greatest Collaboration OF ALL TIIIIIMEEEE. (Mwahahahaha.)

After months…after years…well ok, after at least a buncha weeks…DEADPOOL’S BACK! That’s right, feebs, I been away in th’ UK but now I’m back in th’ office, and I come over ta this here journal bearin’ shiny amazin’ gifts th’ likes’a which you all NEVER seen before (no really. You never. ‘Cause this is a totally new thing. An’ YOU get ta see it FIRST). That’s right! Deadpool [refers to self in third person, likes long walks in th’ armory, now has a penchant fer Jaffa Cakes] has brought you kids a really early Christmas pressie: a COLLABORATION. Between the minds of geniuses (well they think so) – foresthouse an’ Marc Vuletich. An’ it comes in th’ form of: A COMIC (the first a’many, they claim).

So: enjoy!

Okay, Who Moved My Sheep Gun? Tasky?? GIVE IT BACK OR THE BARBIE GETS IT.

Hola mes amigos, from the casa de Deadpool! Or…somethin’? Yeah, I never really learned Spanish. Well actually I did, on that one job in Costa Rica, but I think that part’a my brain’s re-generamacating right now. So all I can say is: vete a tomar por culo! Which means “good ta see all you feebs again.” …I think. An’ it IS good ta see you – ‘specially you devoted fans who miss me so much that you comment JUST ta tell me ta come back an’ write on this here journal. I love you all, I really do! So this one’s fer you, perras! Which a’course means “beautiful people” in th’ original Spanish. Ole!

Asked and Answered in 140 Characters Er Less

Part VI: The Superfluous Division (Which smelled really really bad. Oh wait. That was the Flatulous Division. D’oh!)

…

@jadaily says: @Ask_Deadpool You really want Deadpool and Domino in An Affair of the Heart. Or maybe an affair of other parts.

@jadaily I may or may not deny this could possibly be the case in an alternate world somewhere.

@ToughTom says: @Ask_Deadpool That might get messy with that “bullseye” around her eye.

@ToughTom *rimshot*

Hey cool! Now you can rate @Ask_Deadpool over on Comic Blog Elite. Go give me 5 stars` or I’ll shoot ya! 😉 http://tinyurl.com/yf2bw2v

P.S. Yes, I love attention. YOU ARE SURPRISED BY THIS? #Deadpool

New Entry! My thoughts on my (#Deadpool) current popularity, let me show you them! http://ask-deadpool.livejournal.com/10985.html

RT @lastgeek: @Ask_Deadpool has a point and us comic buyers trying to get everything he is in isn’t helping. I’m stilling to the main stuff.

. @lastgeek Heh, thanks, man. I mean, I’m all about people wantin’ ta own alla my comics; it’s just that it’s gettin’ SO CROWDED in here!

Aw, shucks. Thanks, dude. RT @lastgeek: @Agent_M Print this off and pass it around @Marvel: http://ask-deadpool.livejournal.com/10985.html

RT @lastgeek: @Ask_Deadpool As long as you get to sucker punch Osborn in the Siege storyline, all will be good!

. @lastgeek Hey dude, I’ll sucker-punch Normie in ANY storyline!

RT @LarrysComics Just coined the term “Deadtrosexual” to describe #comics fans who ONLY read and collect all things Wade. Bunch of them out there

RT @YouTubeDeadpool Fine! I’m Coining “Deadpoholics” @larryscomics. Means the samething, but sounds less gay. Though i’d be down for “LadyDeadtrosexual”.

@YouTubeDeadpool I like that. Haha, ya hear that, my faithful fans? You got a special name now!

RT @YouTubeDeadpool . @Ask_Deadpool i think i’m gonna start calling the Deadpool Fans Deadpoholics in my VLOGs.

@YouTubeDeadpool DEADPOOL APPROVES. #FTW

. @YouTubeDeadpool But ya gotta pr’nounce it “Deadp’holics” er it’s gonna sound like yer callin’ ’em “DeadPOOholics.” An’ that’s just gross.

@handmadelion asks: What is the likelihood that there will be a scene of you reading your own forums in the actual Deadpool solo movie?

@handmadelion Very likely, if I have anythin’ ta say about it. An’ then there’ll be th’ scene where I go lookin’ fer th’ #Deadpool Marb.

@handmadelion Th’ legendary #Deadpool marb: http://s3.zetaboards.com/thedeadpoolforum/topic/7278289/2/

@handmadelion An’ then the scene where I come back an’ shoot th’ computer fer tauntin’ me with a Marb that apparently doesn’t exist.

@handmadelion Ah, who’m I kiddin’? That scene’ll only be on the SuperBadassDeluxeMegaMercEdition DVD. As an Easter egg.

@handmadelion Shaped like a Deadpool grenade.

@cutebutpsycho76 asks: Deadpool: Does this outfit make me look fat?

@cutebutpsycho76 Nah, sweet potata, yer lookin’ feisty an’ fine in those togs. Wanna go out sometime? *wink wink*

@GrimDingo asks: If you get to make your own trailer for your movie, what would you put in it?

@GrimDingo BUCKETS OF EXPLOSIONS. Also, mackin’ it with Copycat. B/c HELLZ YEAH, BLUE CHICKS. (Holla, Avatar? OK that was offensive oops.)

@GrimDingo But TRUE NONETHELESS. Blue chicks are so in this season.

@handmadelion asks: Do you like Drowning Pool?

@handmadelion They’re ok. Mostly b/c @foresthouse has a Dr. Pool/Jagermeister shirt that is S-E-X-Y. #TRUFAX. LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.

RT @handmadelion @Ask_Deadpool; @KenPlume I just thought you two should know, we’re having tacos this evening.

@handmadelion AND YOU ARE SENDING ME SOME, RIGHT, FEEB??

@jadaily asks: Don’t you prefer chimichangas over tacos anyway?

@jadaily I accept all Mexican foooooodzzzzz. Although I endorse enchiladas frequently. Enchilada enchilada enchilada.

@MadiRuss What is your favorite winter sport?

@MadiRuss Curling because it is pointless and I enjoy that fact.

RT@jenvargas As a proud Mexican, I must share my love of tamales. Corn wrapped AWESOME is what they are!!

@jenvargas I got no argument with that. I like the Trinidadian kind, too, wrapped in banana leaves. MMMMMMM. Yeah, baby.

@jenvargas Pastelles, that’s what they’re called. I approve of pastelles, an’ all you mooks should, too!

RT @HellRazerHD: @ask_deadpool Chalupa means boat!

@HellrazerHD Does it? Get me a boat fulla chalupas, then!

What up, Feeb Posse? Deadpool is in the hizzzzzzzzouse. Mostly ’cause it’s snowin’ like it ain’t never gonna stop out there.

Even mercs with healin’ factors like ta stay in an’ keep warm ev’ry now an’ then. Also, Bob made Chinese Lantern Hot Cocoa. Mmmmmm.

@gil_garcia asks: hey deadpool, I just bought Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. Why is Zooey Deschannel so damn cute?

@gil_garcia ‘Cause she’s related to Emily Deschannel, who is S-E-X-Y. Even Agent Booth can’t keep away. RrrrOWR.

@HamjamIAm asks: So, when you wanna go to Australia? I’m in! http://bit.ly/blCwwN

@HamjamIAm Awww, but I used to have a widdle wabbit, an’ he was so darned cute, I could NEVER…how ’bout Thursday?

RT @gil_garcia (·|·)

@gil_garcia Did you just moon me, dude? Oh, wait. That’s my symbol, ain’t it? Aaaaanyway.

@MidtheKnight says: Wade love all your comments, and hey how’d you feel having ryan reynolds play you in X-men orgins

@MidtheKnight Thanks, yo! An’ I LOVE #RyanReynolds, so that was sweet. Until…you know…THAT THING happened. But I don’t blame ol’ Ry.

@handmadelion asks: If you were to provide televised commentary to a spectator sport, which sport would it be?

@handmadelion Cross country skiing, but mainly in hopes that @mattfraction would make an appearance: http://tinyurl.com/ydgssmn

@gjrkow asks: do you ever wish you had thought balloons instead of boxes

@gjrkow Heck no! You c’n fit WAY more into a box than a balloon, an’ sometimes, y’know, I got A LOT ta say. About th’ Golden Girls, an’…

WIN RT @pandora114 Spiderman eat ur ❤ out I have made Deadpool underoos for my 3yo little boy. He asked 4em. http://tweetphoto.com/13745916

RT @VictorGischler Come on, Kidpool. You can't even lift that gun. How do you expect to fire it? VG

@VictorGischler Kidpool would find a way.

Just misread Nine Inch Nails as Nine Irish Nails. Because Dedpool Kan Rede. ANYWAYS. I kinda like th’ idea of Nine Irish Nails. Aye!

@krazynate05 asks: whose cooler? Spiderman or Iron Man?

@krazynate05 Spider-man c’n be fun, but he’s so UNORIGINAL. Always tryin’ ta be cool like me. But Iron Man? He’s got repulsor beams! SHINY.

RT @pandora114: @Ask_Deadpool Iron Man. He’s a pimp

RT @pandora114: @Ask_Deadpool But not as much of a pimp as Deadpool. >.>

@pandora114 DAMN SKIPPY.

@HamjamIAm says: @Ask_Deadpool Thursday is good. Your C4 or my TNT?

@HamjamIAm Eh, I got a ton’a extra C4 I was just sittin’ around moldin’ inta mermaid shapes, so let’s go fer that.

@gjrkow asks: spider-ham does u think he wrong?

@gjrkow Wrong ’bout what, dude? His fashion sense? Maybe.

@krazynate05 says: just got done beating down captain america as the merc with a mouth!

@krazynate05 Sweet! Now, ta really be like me, tomorrow, go back an’ fight side-by-side with him instead. An’ then beat him again on Tues.

@HamjamIAm asks: Where’s @ask_deadpool when you need him?

@HamjamIAm Hidin’ in a crowd with Waldo. CAN YOU FIND ME???

Top 10 Worst Secret Identities: http://laserbrick.blip.tv/file/3238137 Thanks, Lem!

…

An’ now, back ta yer regularly scheduled colonoscopy! Until next time, keep ’em tensed an’ ready!

The mail came! I got That Thing I Ordered! It’s like Christmas in July!!

H-hey guys! It’s me! Bob! Remember me? Your favorite sidekick? I know, I know – I haven’t said hi in awhile. It’s just that…well…Mr. Wilson, sometimes he doesn’t like other people touching his things, and I really, really like all my fingers. Even the little one that’s kind of crooked because I broke it when Mr. Wilson stepped on it last year. It was all my fault really. But I do like my fingers. A lot. So I don’t want to, you know, lose one? Which might happen if Mr. Wilson sees me typing on his keyboard without asking.

So. Um. Mr. Wilson’s not here right now, and I wanted to show you something I just got. I got it in the mail! It was very exciting!! And I knew you’d all want to see it, because you’re such big fans of Mr. Wilson, just like me! But it has to be our little secret, ok? I don’t think Mr. Wilson would really understand why I paid my hard-earned allowance for..well…a My Little Pony.

But I know you’ll understand!

It’s always April 1 around here!

Hey hey, my frisky fans! So ya know how in comics, time don’t really work like it does in…wherever it’s not comics-space? Yeah? Yeah. Well, that’s how come I c’n declare that it’s still th’ very first’a April around here, an’ therefore that t’day, tomorrow, an’ in fact alla way through Sunday this journal is hereby dedicated solely to…

LOLDEADPOOL.

That’s right! I wanna see those macros in th’ comments ta this entry. The goofier, the better! An’ th’ best ones may just end up RIGHT HERE.

I’ll start ‘er off with one from my dedicated fan, addygryff:

I think ya get the idea. Now get goin, feebs! Those macros don’ make themselves!