Posts tagged ‘domino’

August 5, 2010

Okay, Who Moved My Sheep Gun? Tasky?? GIVE IT BACK OR THE BARBIE GETS IT.

Hola mes amigos, from the casa de Deadpool! Or…somethin’? Yeah, I never really learned Spanish. Well actually I did, on that one job in Costa Rica, but I think that part’a my brain’s re-generamacating right now. So all I can say is: vete a tomar por culo! Which means “good ta see all you feebs again.” …I think. An’ it IS good ta see you – ‘specially you devoted fans who miss me so much that you comment JUST ta tell me ta come back an’ write on this here journal. I love you all, I really do! So this one’s fer you, perras! Which a’course means “beautiful people” in th’ original Spanish. Ole!

Asked and Answered in 140 Characters Er Less

Part VI: The Superfluous Division (Which smelled really really bad. Oh wait. That was the Flatulous Division. D’oh!)

@jadaily says: @Ask_Deadpool You really want Deadpool and Domino in An Affair of the Heart. Or maybe an affair of other parts.

@jadaily I may or may not deny this could possibly be the case in an alternate world somewhere.

@ToughTom says: @Ask_Deadpool That might get messy with that “bullseye” around her eye.

@ToughTom *rimshot*

Hey cool! Now you can rate @Ask_Deadpool over on Comic Blog Elite. Go give me 5 stars` or I’ll shoot ya! 😉

P.S. Yes, I love attention. YOU ARE SURPRISED BY THIS? #Deadpool

New Entry! My thoughts on my (#Deadpool) current popularity, let me show you them!

RT @lastgeek: @Ask_Deadpool has a point and us comic buyers trying to get everything he is in isn’t helping. I’m stilling to the main stuff.

. @lastgeek Heh, thanks, man. I mean, I’m all about people wantin’ ta own alla my comics; it’s just that it’s gettin’ SO CROWDED in here!

Aw, shucks. Thanks, dude. RT @lastgeek: @Agent_M Print this off and pass it around @Marvel:

RT @lastgeek: @Ask_Deadpool As long as you get to sucker punch Osborn in the Siege storyline, all will be good!

. @lastgeek Hey dude, I’ll sucker-punch Normie in ANY storyline!

RT @LarrysComics Just coined the term “Deadtrosexual” to describe #comics fans who ONLY read and collect all things Wade. Bunch of them out there

RT @YouTubeDeadpool Fine! I’m Coining “Deadpoholics” @larryscomics. Means the samething, but sounds less gay. Though i’d be down for “LadyDeadtrosexual”.

@YouTubeDeadpool I like that. Haha, ya hear that, my faithful fans? You got a special name now!

RT @YouTubeDeadpool . @Ask_Deadpool i think i’m gonna start calling the Deadpool Fans Deadpoholics in my VLOGs.


. @YouTubeDeadpool But ya gotta pr’nounce it “Deadp’holics” er it’s gonna sound like yer callin’ ’em “DeadPOOholics.” An’ that’s just gross.

@handmadelion asks: What is the likelihood that there will be a scene of you reading your own forums in the actual Deadpool solo movie?

@handmadelion Very likely, if I have anythin’ ta say about it. An’ then there’ll be th’ scene where I go lookin’ fer th’ #Deadpool Marb.

@handmadelion Th’ legendary #Deadpool marb:

@handmadelion An’ then the scene where I come back an’ shoot th’ computer fer tauntin’ me with a Marb that apparently doesn’t exist.

@handmadelion Ah, who’m I kiddin’? That scene’ll only be on the SuperBadassDeluxeMegaMercEdition DVD. As an Easter egg.

@handmadelion Shaped like a Deadpool grenade.

@cutebutpsycho76 asks: Deadpool: Does this outfit make me look fat?

@cutebutpsycho76 Nah, sweet potata, yer lookin’ feisty an’ fine in those togs. Wanna go out sometime? *wink wink*

@GrimDingo asks: If you get to make your own trailer for your movie, what would you put in it?

@GrimDingo BUCKETS OF EXPLOSIONS. Also, mackin’ it with Copycat. B/c HELLZ YEAH, BLUE CHICKS. (Holla, Avatar? OK that was offensive oops.)

@GrimDingo But TRUE NONETHELESS. Blue chicks are so in this season.

@handmadelion asks: Do you like Drowning Pool?

@handmadelion They’re ok. Mostly b/c @foresthouse has a Dr. Pool/Jagermeister shirt that is S-E-X-Y. #TRUFAX. LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.

RT @handmadelion @Ask_Deadpool; @KenPlume I just thought you two should know, we’re having tacos this evening.


@jadaily asks: Don’t you prefer chimichangas over tacos anyway?

@jadaily I accept all Mexican foooooodzzzzz. Although I endorse enchiladas frequently. Enchilada enchilada enchilada.

@MadiRuss What is your favorite winter sport?

@MadiRuss Curling because it is pointless and I enjoy that fact.

RT@jenvargas As a proud Mexican, I must share my love of tamales. Corn wrapped AWESOME is what they are!!

@jenvargas I got no argument with that. I like the Trinidadian kind, too, wrapped in banana leaves. MMMMMMM. Yeah, baby.

@jenvargas Pastelles, that’s what they’re called. I approve of pastelles, an’ all you mooks should, too!

RT @HellRazerHD: @ask_deadpool Chalupa means boat!

@HellrazerHD Does it? Get me a boat fulla chalupas, then!

What up, Feeb Posse? Deadpool is in the hizzzzzzzzouse. Mostly ’cause it’s snowin’ like it ain’t never gonna stop out there.

Even mercs with healin’ factors like ta stay in an’ keep warm ev’ry now an’ then. Also, Bob made Chinese Lantern Hot Cocoa. Mmmmmm.

@gil_garcia asks: hey deadpool, I just bought Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. Why is Zooey Deschannel so damn cute?

@gil_garcia ‘Cause she’s related to Emily Deschannel, who is S-E-X-Y. Even Agent Booth can’t keep away. RrrrOWR.

@HamjamIAm asks: So, when you wanna go to Australia? I’m in!

@HamjamIAm Awww, but I used to have a widdle wabbit, an’ he was so darned cute, I could NEVER…how ’bout Thursday?

RT @gil_garcia (·|·)

@gil_garcia Did you just moon me, dude? Oh, wait. That’s my symbol, ain’t it? Aaaaanyway.

@MidtheKnight says: Wade love all your comments, and hey how’d you feel having ryan reynolds play you in X-men orgins

@MidtheKnight Thanks, yo! An’ I LOVE #RyanReynolds, so that was sweet. Until…you know…THAT THING happened. But I don’t blame ol’ Ry.

@handmadelion asks: If you were to provide televised commentary to a spectator sport, which sport would it be?

@handmadelion Cross country skiing, but mainly in hopes that @mattfraction would make an appearance:

@gjrkow asks: do you ever wish you had thought balloons instead of boxes

@gjrkow Heck no! You c’n fit WAY more into a box than a balloon, an’ sometimes, y’know, I got A LOT ta say. About th’ Golden Girls, an’…

WIN RT @pandora114 Spiderman eat ur ❤ out I have made Deadpool underoos for my 3yo little boy. He asked 4em.

RT @VictorGischler Come on, Kidpool. You can't even lift that gun. How do you expect to fire it? VG

@VictorGischler Kidpool would find a way.

Just misread Nine Inch Nails as Nine Irish Nails. Because Dedpool Kan Rede. ANYWAYS. I kinda like th’ idea of Nine Irish Nails. Aye!

@krazynate05 asks: whose cooler? Spiderman or Iron Man?

@krazynate05 Spider-man c’n be fun, but he’s so UNORIGINAL. Always tryin’ ta be cool like me. But Iron Man? He’s got repulsor beams! SHINY.

RT @pandora114: @Ask_Deadpool Iron Man. He’s a pimp

RT @pandora114: @Ask_Deadpool But not as much of a pimp as Deadpool. >.>

@pandora114 DAMN SKIPPY.

@HamjamIAm says: @Ask_Deadpool Thursday is good. Your C4 or my TNT?

@HamjamIAm Eh, I got a ton’a extra C4 I was just sittin’ around moldin’ inta mermaid shapes, so let’s go fer that.

@gjrkow asks: spider-ham does u think he wrong?

@gjrkow Wrong ’bout what, dude? His fashion sense? Maybe.

@krazynate05 says: just got done beating down captain america as the merc with a mouth!

@krazynate05 Sweet! Now, ta really be like me, tomorrow, go back an’ fight side-by-side with him instead. An’ then beat him again on Tues.

@HamjamIAm asks: Where’s @ask_deadpool when you need him?

@HamjamIAm Hidin’ in a crowd with Waldo. CAN YOU FIND ME???

Top 10 Worst Secret Identities: Thanks, Lem!

An’ now, back ta yer regularly scheduled colonoscopy! Until next time, keep ’em tensed an’ ready!

March 14, 2010

Remember When I Dressed Like Ant Man? Good Times.

OK, so you feebs are gonna die when ya hear this:

I’m in th’ supermarket (le supermarchet!) in France, ’cause I got this megamajor cravin’ fer some Snackes Au Francais (that’s French munchies ta you unedumacated feebs) an’ this dude comes up to me all, “Zut alors, mon ami! Etes-vous DEADPOOL?” an’ I’m all whippin’ out the heavy artillery ’cause ya know, guys comin’ up ta me ta ask who I am usually wanna kill me, an’ he kinda reminds me a’the guy who’s uncle I mighta maybe snuffed a few weeks ago — an’ then he goes, “Mais oui! Je t’adore! J’aime les questions auxquelles vous répondez sur le Twitter!” An’ then? He bought me all my snacks. SCORE.

So, random French dude who’s name was probably Pierre ’cause ev’ry French person is named Pierre: this one’s fer you!

Asked and Answered in 140 Characters Er Less

Part V: The Havartian Decade (When all th’ questions were soft an’ cheesy, an’ all th’ answers were delicious. Woo! (This decade has not yet been officially recognized by the International Commission on Stratigraphy, which I totally did not make up.))

@lastgeek asks: Is there anything you wouldn’t do for money?

@lastgeek Yeah, I wouldn’t fry a Smurf w/a magnifying glass (ScarletVulture, WHATUP I’d do that sh*t for FREE.

@bunnnn asks: what can I do to train and kick butt like you do cause im only a small bunny but your really cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

@bunnnn Oldest trick in th’ book, wee furry creature: file those l’il teeth a’yers until they’re SHARP and POINTY! An’ then hide in a cave

RT @bunnnn – @ask_deadpool is tellin us a story about how he kicked captain america in the nads to get aliens out

RT @bunnnn – now @ask_deadpool is tellin me how my brass knuckles look like crepes I didnt know how to spell it

@bunnnn Sweet, little vorpal bunny! I like these. 🙂

@gjrkow asks: that cuz he was not allowed to talk when he was u at the end??? they messed u up big time but maybe they do betta next time

@gjrkow Hellz yeah that’s why! Those fools din’t know what 2 do w/a good thing. WHERE’S MY LAWYER CALL HER IN HERE Oh hey She-hulk whatup?

@jenvargas asks: What do you think of @NASA?

@jenvargas I’ve been ta space. It’s kinda creepy out there sometimes. @NASA & the astronauts are killer-cool fer going up there alla time.

@jenvargas P.S. Have you heard my new band, @NASA and the Astronauts?

@jenvargas It’s me an’ Domino, a guitar, a bass, an’ a hamster on a wheel. #TRUFAX

@jenvargas P.S. Sometimes Rorschach does guest vocals, but we can’t get ‘im ta read th’ lyrics in full sentences. Crazy little man.

@jenvargas: @Ask_Deadpool That’s pretty cool, DP! I’ll bet you guys would kick Harry & the Potters’ butt in a Battle of the Bands!

@jenvargas Yeah, but I dunno ’bout Draco & the Malfoys. They might emo us ta death.

@I_Tenacious asks: Here’s one. Why the hell did Marvel set up another account for you if they/you aren’t doing jack with it?

@I_Tenacious WHO TO THE WHAT NOW? Where is this villain of whom you speaketh. Eth.


@I_Tenacious Thanks dude. …OH COME ON NOW, THIS AIN’T FAIR. If he don’t post somethin’, how can I reply an’ tell ‘im ta GET LOST.

@I_Tenacious Hey man, what’s th’ point’a havin minions if ya can’t get’em ta do yer work for ya. EVERYBODY TELL @RealDeadpool I’M TH’ BEST


GO MINIONS GO! RT @bunnnn @RealDeadpool i like @Ask_Deadpool hes tha best!!!!

@RealDeadpool BEWARE MY MINIONS WITH THEIR SHARP. POINTY. TEETH. (snicker-snack; snicker-snack. @bunnnn will getchya!)

@Jebroney says: id REALLY love it if there was a chance of u teaming up with weasel again…i miss poolboy 😦

@Jebroney Ya know, I think we need ta go storm th’ writers’ lair, ’cause I got a few suggestions as ta my supportin’ cast myself!

@ToughTom asks: Why is it all the other Deadpools on twitter are so sorry?

@ToughTom Cause all the other ones are pale copies of xeroxes of mimeographs of tracing-paper drawings of th’ REAL me. Which is ME. #TRUFAX

@RedHeartTart asks: Do you think you could take on Freddy Krueger?

@RedHeartTart Psshya, what’re ya, kiddin’ me? He can’t even leave town! You can beat him just by not being afraid! An’ I’m not afraid a’him

@gil_garcia asks: have you seen the Proposal yet?

@gil_garcia Yes. #ryanreynolds is SO DREAMY. Jus’ like me! That’s why he’ll be perfect ta play me soon.

@krazynate05 asks: What would @Ask_Deadpool do if a guy kissed your chick on the cheek even if the 2 are friends?

@krazynate05 HAHAHAHAHA show me th’ guy who’s nuts enough ta do that. MY BABE, DUDES. THAT MEANS BACK OFF. *grenade toss*

@bairdduvessa asks: does that meam you won’t get me Sandi’s number?

@bairdduvessa Hmm, not sure, dude. Do you have shifty eyes? A tendency ta beat women? If not, I might maybe could consider it. 😉

@bairdduvessa: @ask_deadpool neither.

@bairdduvessa Weeeeellllll, I’ll see if she wants ta share. 😉

@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: is ryan reynolds as good and cute in the proposal as in wolverine ??

@EdWaRdSgIrL4 CUTER. HE GETS NAKED which I totally didn’t watch because I am into women. Only women. Hot women. In conclusion: WOMEN.

@JLopezCostume asks: Deadpool/Transformers Michael Baysplosion Crossover, y/y?

@JLopezCostume Oh HELL no. Michael Bay? *makes warding sign* Who did The Dark Knight CAN I GET THAT PERSON?

@JLopezCostume: @Ask_Deadpool what if Michael Bay explodes too? Someone will pay to see that!

@JLopezCostume Only if Optimus Prime falls on ‘im outta the clear blue sky afterwards. ‘Cause that’d be kinda funny.

@I_Tenacious asks: Hey, did we ever get rid of that other jerk?

@I_Tenacious Nah, he;s still hangin’ around, not sayin’ a word. But I don’ care. We all know who the REAL “RealDeadpool” is: ME.

@I_Tenacious Actually, I figured out who that feeb is: he’s th’ version a’me from the FOX movie: aka Not Cool Deadpool.

@I_Tenacious That’s why he ain’t talkin’ – HIS MOUTH’S STILL SEWN SHUT. Hahahahaha.

@BuddhaBBuddhism asks: Ive read just about every deadpool comic (that i know of) But when does he get the other extra voices??

@BuddhaBBuddhism The voices are tellin’ me somethin’ about some dude named Daniel…Way…and salad tossing…Wolvie? Is that you??

@BuddhaBBuddhism Oh wait. Now th’ other voice is sayin’ somethin’ about tired gimmicks…HEY NOW. Nothin’ I do is tired. I RULE.

@fableboyblue asks: so you battling Dr. Doom (via @doomwar) for money or chicks or both? You should eat something before you take him on!

@fableboyblue Eh? That ain’t Doom. Doom wouldn’t talk ’bout Taylor Swift all the time. …Wait. Scratch that. Maybe he WOULD.

RT @fableboyblue has to be doom. NAY WAIT ITS LADY GAGA! I was fooled don’t let this happen you you kids!

@fableboyblue HEY NOW don’t you hate on @ladygaga; she’s my kinda crazy. She wore a cape made outta a polar bear AND SET IT ON FIRE.

@fableboyblue: @Ask_Deadpool most definitely not hating on @ladygaga. You have to respect multi-talent.

@fableboyblue Anyway, I think @ladygaga c’n actually SPELL. Plus: POLAR BEAR CAPE. ON FIRE. Yeah, that’s right, @Ask_Deadpool’s a fan.

@fableboyblue An’ women who wear masks alla time. Maybe @ladygaga is secretly a superhero/villainess. HEY IT COULD BE TRUE.

@fableboyblue: @Ask_Deadpool agreed. Akin to Dazzler, only…lots more flash.

@jadaily asks: I’m looking for a career change. What should I do?

@jadaily How ’bout citrus fruit dyer: Dunno if it’s hard work, but ya c’d prob’ly snack some while ya work!

@gjrkow asks: x-force annual was cool cuz u fought dead acolytes, so when u officialy join x-force?

@gjrkow Shhh, don’ tell! I’m already a super-secret member. So secret that not a single person knows I joined! Hah!

@HamjamIAm asks: If you had your way, what would you do about school buses?

@HamjamIAm I’d turn ’em inta portable awesomeness on wheels: hot tub school buses, pizza parlor school buses, observatory school buses…

@HamjamIAm moonwalk school buses (they’d be totally safe! *bounce bounce bounce*), armory school buses (fer when ya need a new grenade)…

@HamjamIAm fashion show school buses (shutup I ain’t gay; it’d attract hot models!), personal rock show buses (hello, Matthew Good show!)

@HamjamIAm …OK, now I’m really thinkin’ I gotta get some old buses and go ta work on this idea. Thanks, man!

@ToughTom asks: Do you think Longshot could “get lucky” whenever he wanted?

@ToughTom I think he’d have a real good chance at makin’ babies if that’s what he wanted. Since his aim’s so good. Hur hur hur.

@ToughTom Know what I’d love ta see? Longshot vs. Domino in An Affair of the Heart. An’ in a fight, too, a’course.

Hey! I think…I think that means I’m almost caught up on th’ ol’ Twitterfeed. Which…ah, damn. Guess I’ll hafta start answerin’ questions again, eh? Just kiddin’, kids. I LOVE YA AN’ YER QUESTIONS.

P.S. I heard a rumor t’day that my friend who said he was gonna draw some little pictures fer me drew ’em. Stay tuned!