Yeah yeah, I know I totally made fun’a those journals that post all their hollas (aka “tweets” SO LAME) an’ whatever, but one’a my fans out there thinks I oughta be postin’ my Twitter Asked and Answered stuff on here along with all the regular posts, sooooooo…hey, sounds good ta me!
(Pls. note the Asked and Answered Hollas will be separate from Merc Werc: The Deadpool Way. ‘Cause that’s just how I roll.)
Asked and Answered in 140 Characters Er Less
Part I: The Cablezioc Era (e.g. the first posts, from the time when Cablesaurs first roamed the earth. (I mean, he is pretty damned old, right? I bet he knew some dinosaurs.))
@_jynx asks: how do you REAAAAALLY feel about Cable?
@Ask_Deadpool: I can’t tell you because this is a PG twitter…
@rockafire asks: Why did you let FOX mess with your character for the movie?
@Ask_Deadpool: BECAUSE I WAS TOO LATE TA STOP THEM FROM MAKING A GIANT MISTAKE BY BLOWING THEM UP. KINDA LIKE HOW LATE I AM RESPONDING TA THIS.
@The_Perry850 asks: why yellow caption boxes?
@Ask_Deadpool: Because pink is so passe. An’ ’cause if I used black boxes, no one could read ’em. Not t’mention Black Box was kinda fruity.
@Steven1138 asks: whats ur favorite movie DP?
@Ask_Deadpool: T’day I can finally answer this: what’s my fav’rite movie? One where I am a STAR an’ they actually get my origins RIGHT. WOO
@smittytang asks: when are you getting your own movie? i hear (hear being used for sake of legalities) you got pooped on in the wolverine one
@Ask_Deadpool: THE TIME IS NOW, DUDE. DEADPOOL! WINS! (Thank ya, ItsJustSomeRandomGuy). I have ARRIVED. Quick, get me star-shaped sunglasses!
@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: are you exited your not dead and your gong to have your own movie?:):)
@Ask_Deadpool: You kiddin? I was so excited when I heard th’news, I bought th’whole office tacos! ‘Cept fer Agent X. I got him a salad. Hah!
@Ask_Deadpool: In case any a’you feebs didn’t hear already, I’M GETTIN’ MY OWN MOVIE. I just drank 9 gallons a’vodka t’celebrate. Am feelin’ a slight buzz.
@Mark_Currie: Congrats! You got your own moooovie baby!
@Ask_Deadpool: Thanks, man. I’m so super psyched about this. God, I hope I get at least one hot chick in my movie. Copycat, anyone? Blue is in
@GRHII: Congrats, I am excited. I hope they fix they holes they created in X-Men origins!
@Ask_Deadpool: Dude, I’d go further than that. I hope they f’rget X-Men Origins even existed. ‘Cept fer the parts with the badass katana work!
@__Davros__ asks: Hey! Have you still been stitched up?
@Ask_Deadpool: The truth is, as they say in show biz, THE CAKE IS A LIE. There’s no WAY I’d have let some psycho jerk stitch up my mouth IRL.
@Ask_Deadpool: Not even if he bribed me with hot women and fast cars. NOPE.
@Ask_Deadpool: Unless they were REALLY hot women and REALLY fast cars. Or motorcycles. Ducati, represent!
@Mark_Currie asks: Out of all the hot chicks in your life, shouldn’t it be Siryn who’s in it? Or Blind Al =P
@Ask_Deadpool: Hey, man, I’m all for gettin’ Blind Al a lil part in this movie; I’d have nominated our beloved Bea fer the part, but…
@Ask_Deadpool: An’ as for Siryn – well HELLS YEAH. But see, I knew ‘Nessa before Theresa, an’ I kinda assumed they might go early canon here.
@Ask_Deadpool: Not that I should assume these feebs even know what canon is. But after I carve a little reminder into their chests, THEY WILL.
@Mark_Currie: Oh yeah I forgot about Copycat bein your gal before the ole Weapon X program (please don’t kill me).
@Ask_Deadpool: Nah, I don’t kill fans. In gen’ral. ‘Cause, y’know, maybe one day they’ll give me money or something’!
@StJoan: i’d give you rhubarb pie
@Ask_Deadpool: I’LL TAKE IT. Send it on over, c/o Sandi. But make sure it’s in a sealed container, or Agent X’ll smell it right away and eat it all
@GRHII asks: How sad are you? I know you truly loved her! http://bit.ly/aGw5R
@Ask_Deadpool: I am sad, oh, I am so sad, OH! No, fer serious. I miss my Bea. 😦
@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: have you read the articles online about the deadpool movie???- my mom says they said some thing about it on tv
@Ask_Deadpool: Sandi cut out a couple’a articles on th’movie fer me – any in partic. I should be lookin’ at?
@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: do you want cable in the deadpool movie? i dont too confusing
@Ask_Deadpool: Well, I’m not gonna lie – I do kinda like hangin’ out with the big schlub, when he’s not being a total drag…
@Ask_Deadpool: But…yeah, if they try t’explain even a 100th of his origins, we’d be sittin’ in the movie fer 10 days confused ta death.
@Ask_Deadpool: So: only if the writers were very clever but still managed to not make stupid shit that’s not even close to the comics up.
@ToughTom asks: So would you rather steal another smooch from Black Widow 2 or get to kick Osborn in the nuts as many times as you want?
@Ask_Deadpool: Eh, I can kick Osborn in the nuts anyday without his say-so, but kissin’ a willin’ Black Widow? Now THAT you can’t do ev’ry day!
@Ask_Deadpool: AND NOW I’M IN ANOTHER VIDEO GAME, FEEBS! http://tinyurl.com/prwurr What’s with the boots, yo? I haven’t worn those since I was, like, 16!
@Ask_Deadpool: Still. I AM BADASS, HEAR ME BLOW SHIT UP. MWAHAHAHAHA. And they gave me plenty a’ordnance ta do it with, too! *bounces*
@Mark_Currie: Those boots are AWFUL.
@Ask_Deadpool: Hey, I *said* I haven’t worn ’em since I was 16! (I know, man, I know. But hey, everything else looks sweet.)
@EdWaRdSgIrL4: nice boots ???=) goin hiking soon ??? =)
@Ask_Deadpool: Watchyer wisecracks, missy. At least the rest’a me looks pretty damn good. 😉
@gil_garcia: awww no laser eyes??!!! hahaha jk. thanks for sharing the screenshots. that game looks badass!
@Ask_Deadpool: THANK EVERYTHING (laser eyes, hrmph *grumblegrumblegrumble*) Unless they included ’em as a special Doofus Achievement or sumpin.
@gil_garcia: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Good ol’ FOX (Kill 0 enemies with Deadpool’s laser ability)- 10 points
@Ask_Deadpool: Hah, sweet! Or, like, “accidentally kill 20 enemies by landing on ’em in combat boots” or somethin’. (Wait, I’ve done that…)
@JLopezCostume: doc martens needed a plug?
@Ask_Deadpool: rassmfrssm PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Man. Next thing ya know, we’re gonna end up with one’a these in the game http://tinyurl.com/p6y9bk
@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: “is the game gona be any good”
@Ask_Deadpool: Hey, I ain’t no soothsayer; so I asked that dude in the mirror from MUA 1 (Grampy? You so grumpy!) an’ he said HELLS YEAH.
@EdWaRdSgIrL4 asks: “by the way who is Foresthouse”
@Ask_Deadpool: That’s a top military secret. (Hint: wise grasshoppers can learn a lot from a profile page: http://tinyurl.com/pud3o9)
@inferno232 asks: Hey, my last name is ‘Pool’! And some call you the ‘Pool’! Can I file a cross dimensional lawsuit? Please?
@Ask_Deadpool: Tchya, good luck with that. Outlaw’s an Internet Lawyer with a BIG gun collection. I send her after any guys who try ta sue me.
@Ask_Deadpool: Anyway, everyone knows I been around longer than most. So I gots prior claim or whatever legal wibbity-wob they use fer that.
@inferno232: In order to to avoid embarrassment and multiple gunshot wounds, I yield to your logic, Mr. Wilson. May your movie not suck.
@Ask_Deadpool: Awright, I accept your surrender. Anyway, I do try not ta shoot my fans unless it’s really necessary. So yer safe for now!
@KarenB88 asks: Who do I need to threaten to get more Deadpool animated cartoon goodness?
@Ask_Deadpool: I heard some sorta rumor that if ya write letters ta Marvel tellin’ them ya want more glorious animated me, ya might get some.
@Ask_Deadpool: FYI: Marvel Address to Write To for More Animated Deadpool Goodness: http://community.livejournal.com/cabledeadpool/34721.html
@gil_garcia asks: do you think it’s a coincidence that Marvel hired Reynolds to play you and Scarlett Johannson to play Black Widow????
@Ask_Deadpool: I think the world’a movies is a mysterious, mysterious place. An’ that ScarJo secretly wants ta cameo in my movie.
@Ask_Deadpool: Too bad fer her my rendezvous with Black Widow only just happened! I wouldn’t bet on tha writers using anything that recent.
…
An’ on that note, th-th-th-th-that’s all fer now, folks!
Tune in next time, fer more old news, an’ possibly some new answers. WHO KNOWS?
askdeadpool 