What in the name of Jupiter’s smelly jockstrap is THAT?

Ectoplasmic endives on an eggroll, my faithful followers! I feel like someone’s been walkin’ over my grave or somethin’! Wait, wait…nah, my bad. That’s just me shivering with dread after seein’ the newest trailer fer X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Is that holy horror from Hector’s House’a Budget Horrors supposed to be me? I mean, don’t get me wrong. All the parts with my good bud Ryan in it look AWESOME. He’s really got me down, y’know? Except he needs to work in a few grenade tosses’n’stuff. But anyway. I’m talkin’ bout that dude what looks like someone’s been drawin’ on him with a Magic Marker an crap. And…waita…hold the…are those…jumpin’ Jiminy Cricket, they are. LASERS. EYE LASERS. I DON’T HAVE EYE LASERS. I KICK BUTT JUST FINE WITHOUT THEM, THANKS.

Y’all, I think I just got a headache. I need t’lie down. I…I…I gotta go.

Excelsior?

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17 Comments to “What in the name of Jupiter’s smelly jockstrap is THAT?”

  1. :tosses some aspirin your way:
    I’m so sorry. Couldn’t you sue them for some sort of false light portrayal of you? 😦
    Anyway, I’m going to go for my interview for werc of the merc type pretty soon (a.k.a. tomorrow). We’ll see how that goes. If it doesn’t, maybe and I can work on getting this wrong righted… or at least get you lots of money for your pain and suffering…

    • Well, y’know, in general I don’t mess around with them lawyer-y types. Most of ’em can’t be trusted, y’know. (O_<) But I dunno, maybe I'll hire the two'a you on t'make my case against those…WEENIES over at FOX.

  2. It’s gonna be okay, Wade. Somehow. Society as a whole is quickly learning how to blot out the memory of any movie produced by Fox. This will be no different.
    Somehow.
    I think.
    I hope.

    • Yeah? Well, maybe so. But I don’t WANT them to blot out the parts where my good bud Ryan’s makin’ me look badass. Can we put in a request for worldwide selective amnesia?

  3. Magic Marker dude is not you! It can’t be! It isn’t. (At least, I hope it isn’t.) Someone on the internets mentioned Weapon X building a “super-mutant” with Wolvie’s healing factor, Cyke’s eye beams, DP’s skills with the blade.. Something like that. Which I hope is right. Cause back then when that picture leaked and they all said ’twas Deadpool, I seriously freaked out too.
    But there’s hope, my friend =)

    • Hey, I tell ya, I’ll keep hopin’ til the cows come home to roost or whatever, but I SAW me that merchandise that had crazy Magic Marker dude labeled as “Deadpool.”
      But maybe it’s gonna be like that time when T-Rag had all those other mooks show up and think they were me and we had t’kill some of them and then they were all absorbed into T-Bone and he went crazy nuts in a blank kinda way. Hm. Maybe that’s it. HEY! Maybe I can get the hairy Canadian runt to absorb crazy marker dude and HE’LL go nuts.
      Oh wait. He’s already kind nuts, ain’t he?

  4. What the bloody hell? Did they smoke some bad weed or something? It always pisses me off when writers start mucking about with the fandoms. You get paid for this crap people, get it right.
    Don’t worry, your loyal fans will try to fix it for you. Or you could always, you know, shoot them or something.

    • See, I’d just go toss some grenades in there, but I’m still hopin’ fer my own movie, like A GOOD ONE, and I don’t wanna scare them so bad they won’t make it.
      Maybe just a little slicin’n’dicin’ would be ok, though.

  5. …god damn, I hadn’t seen actual screenshots yet. This is.. just not right. ; (
    Poor darling, how anyone could’ve thought this was a good idea is beyond me.

  6. I Freaked out when i saw that trailer. I was so pissed i through up a video about it:

    But after the lengthy discussion we had about it, i’m kinda excited. From all the evidence i’ve seen, and even with people claim that it is a different character (and actor) all together, i’m inclined to believe the it is Deadpool. Now the reason i’m excite is i’m about 80% sure that they aren’t gonna leave him like that. Wolverine will woop his ass, cut out his eyes, chop of his Baraka arms, and some how cut a mouth in the face, and it will be the Merc we all know and love. Main reason i think this is that Ryan is a big Deadpool fan and an actor who would like to get his own movie out of this. I gotta believe he wouldn’t stand for the writers f@#$ing up his character so bad that he can’t do another movie.
    That and one of the issues of a Deadpool Movie is that you have to cover the character’s back story… which for a Deadpool movie would be to tedious and would take time away from his Hi-larity. So sweet. Deadpool gets experimented on by the Weapon X program in the Wolverine movie, and then can spend his whole time in his own movie kicking ass and cracking jokes.
    I was pissed, but now i’m stoked.

    • Oops wrong video! Here is the right one:

      • Thanks fer the link, man (and sorry fer my lame late response). I know *I’m* still gonna go see the movie, no matter how bad they mess me up in it. I mean, I gotta at least see it before I really judge, y’know? An’ then if I DO see it and it pisses me off, well…I got a REAL BIG stock a’grenades around here, if ya know what I’m sayin’…

  7. Horrifying
    Please….I’ve been excited about this movie since I first caught word of it.
    Please don’t ruin it for me…please.
    I’m going to the friggin’ midnight showing for god’s sake.
    I like Wolvie as well (Sorry!) but if they ruined your character he could never make up for that. 😦
    We can only hope at this point…

    • Re: Horrifying
      Well, at least the Ryan Reynolds trailer looked promising. At this point, I’m just hopin’ enough feebs like it to get me my own movie!

      • Re: Horrifying
        Yea it does 🙂 Makes me think a bit too much of the WoW commercials though (My name is Wade Wilson, and I’m a Blood Elf Rogue. WHAT’S YOUR GAME?).
        I’m almost certainly going to the midnight showing. I just wish there was more Deadpool merch so I could buy some. *hinthint* x3

      • Re: Horrifying
        Hey, I tell you, the red-hot minute they get more Deadpool merch on the market, I will be lettin’ ya know! (And buyin’ it myself. I need some new boxers…)

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