Ectoplasmic endives on an eggroll, my faithful followers! I feel like someone’s been walkin’ over my grave or somethin’! Wait, wait…nah, my bad. That’s just me shivering with dread after seein’ the newest trailer fer X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Is that holy horror from Hector’s House’a Budget Horrors supposed to be me? I mean, don’t get me wrong. All the parts with my good bud Ryan in it look AWESOME. He’s really got me down, y’know? Except he needs to work in a few grenade tosses’n’stuff. But anyway. I’m talkin’ bout that dude what looks like someone’s been drawin’ on him with a Magic Marker an crap. And…waita…hold the…are those…jumpin’ Jiminy Cricket, they are. LASERS. EYE LASERS. I DON’T HAVE EYE LASERS. I KICK BUTT JUST FINE WITHOUT THEM, THANKS.
Y’all, I think I just got a headache. I need t’lie down. I…I…I gotta go.