Great googly Galactus, I’m hungry! Get me some gazpacho!

What up, my mighty Marvel maenads? Well, ok, maybe you’re not maenads, but they sure sound like fun, don’t they? Like the kinda gal Wolverine would take for a romantic-but-bloody romp in the woods? Hey, I wonder if we could mail-order some of ‘em to hang around the office all scantily-clad and stuff. Give it that subtle touch of Early Greek Brothel and Nad– Madhouse. I bet ol’ WB would LOVE that! Maybe when it’s my turn to decorate…

Oh! Yeah, nearly forgot why I’m on the ol’ blog today. It’s because of this here Official Announcement I’ve just been handed. Seems the editors have been gettin’ a lot of confused letters from feebs who want to know why this journal ain’t “in continuity” or some $#!*. These mooks keep insisting that I’m not workin’ at the Agency right now (oh YEAH? Then who was it stole Cap’s TEENY WINGS, you answer me that?!) and that I’m actually killin’ Skrulls or some wacky thing. Which, actually…I am. Well, you know how it goes with comics these days – those wacko writers don’t never know the half of what’s REALLY going on – and the truth of it is, I been livin’ a little bit’a the double life since the Skrulls came to town. Half the time at the Agency, half the time freelancin’ for the Skrulls with a secret agenda of my own. (I do have a teleporter, y’know.) But I couldn’t talk about it before ‘cause, see, it was a secret agenda. That’s just how those things work!

But now that the cat’s outta the bag AND we’re gettin’ so many whiny complaints, the editors told me I’d better announce that from now on, along with the 12 million questions I already got backlogged and cloggin’ up the spittoons around here (yeah, I don’t know either. This week was Outlaw’s turn to decorate, and she says “it don’t feel like home without spittoons.” But whatever, they’re handy to store letters in) I’ll also be answerin’ questions about Skrulls, Secret Plans, and P– Poo– ah, geez— “Pool-o-vision,” shutupshutupshutUP. So, y’know, send me your questions on Those Pesky Green Dudes; How I Made Them All Commit Hari-Kari; What’s Up With That Guy Way; and stuff a’ that sort, and I’ll do my best to answer ‘em. Eventually.

And now, I’m gonna go find me some lunch. Until next time, keep ‘em locked an’ loaded!

P.S. Coming soon: Actual answers to questions that are probably over two months old by now! Hey, I’VE BEEN BUSY. Feebs.

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